Not all those who wander are lost...

	Mar. 5th, 2005 @ 11:11 pm

So I am no longer unemployed. This means, of course, that I actually get to go to Thailand! Although the plan was always to go, if I couldn't find work in time we would have had trouble saving for it. I can't believe that I actually get to travel. If someone would have told me this four months ago I would have laughed and said "yeah right." I always thought it was impossible because Paul didn't want to leave his job. Now he can't wait to get out of there! Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy that he is miserable at work, I would never wish that on him. But the timing seems to have worked out perfectly. It's been a long time since Paul and I have been this excited about anything. I think the last time was when we moved to Victoria. In some ways it seems like so long ago, and in others it seems like only yesterday. Funny, how our perceptions of time can vary like that. Time is such a finite concept, yet it feels so fluid to me. Minutes flowing into hours flowing into days and finally years.

We watched Reality Bites tonight. It made me so happy. I always liked the movie, but tonight I felt this connection to the characters in it - like I finally understood where they were coming from. I watched the entire credits, right up until the point where they tell you what year the movie was made. Can you believe it was made in 1994? That movie is 11 years old. I remember when it came out... and eleven years have gone by. Minutes flowing into 11 whole years...

Tonight I don't fear time. The ticking of the clock is relaxing to me. I meditate to it and find a sense of peace.

Tick

Tock

Current Mood:

peaceful

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Here a Wat, there a Wat	Mar. 3rd, 2005 @ 09:52 pm

Thailand has a shit load of Wats. I mean honestly, how can someone really decide which ones to see. There are over 400 hundred to choose from all over the country. I like the Let's Go guide... they put a little "thumbs up" beside the sights that they recommend. It does narrow the Wats down.

I've been talking to some friends from high school online recently. High school was not the most enjoyable time for me and I thought talking to them would bring up negative emotions and memories, but I find myself pleasantly surprised. Instead they remind me of the good times I did have. One of them I haven't seen in over seven years. Chances are, when I come back to Ontario, I will see them both again. I'm wondering what it will be like. What do you say to someone you haven't seen in years? Do you still have the same things in common? Did you ever have anything in common in the first place? I guess only time will tell.

When I was doing some research for my trip I came across this thai phrase I liked "mai pen rai". It literally means "it can't be helped, so why bother?" I think many north americans could save a lot of heart ache and stress if they thought of that every now and again. We waste a lot of our lives on things that can't be helped or changed.

Current Mood:

contemplative

Victoria to Toronto	Mar. 3rd, 2005 @ 12:29 pm

I've spent a large portion of the morning trying to figure out the driving route from Victoria to Toronto. After an hour the conclusion seems to be "follow the trans-canada hwy". I guess that's why the silly thing was built in the first place. It seems like a really really long drive. Which means I will probably have to drive some of it. I told Paul I could handle the Praries... nice straight line. I know I'm probably planning all of this too soon, but its fun anyway. More fun than looking for work to be honest.

Current Mood:

accomplished

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Changes...	Mar. 2nd, 2005 @ 07:18 pm

It's amazing how fast time flies and how lost I can feel in it. I changed my MSN name to "eye of the storm" today because that's exactly how I feel right now. Everything around me is in chaos - like the storm. But I feel fine, at peace, embracing the chaos - like the calm in the eye of the storm.

Paul and I have made some pretty major decisions lately - these changes are exciting ones. I'm finally going to get my wish - I'm going traveling! I can't wait. There is so much to do...

Current Mood:

anxious

Current Music: I'm a Mess - The Murmurs

Other entries

» nuts...
Been tired lately...zzzzzz I think work might drive me crazy - is it possible to find a job that you 100% love? What about 75%?? Why is it in our nature to settle for less than we deserve? ack Sep. 14th, 2004 @ 11:10 am (7 comments \| Leave a comment)

We are SCREWED! A few weeks ago I made this wonderful document for the lawyers. I contained all the days that we could not have appearances on. And when I say could not - I mean impossible, no way, no how could anyone appear in court on these days. Of course Tom ignored my wonderful document. Now for almost the entire month of September, thanks to him, we are SCREWED!!

I swear I'm going to kill him one of these days. Luckily I have a lawyer at close access that would willingly represent me :)
Sep. 1st, 2004 @ 11:32 am

» Now Ajax is going down the shitter!

I spent last night just for me. I've been so busy with studying that I forgot to spend some really good time doing only what I wanted to do. I wrote in my journal for the first time in months. It felt good. It has been so long that I wrote anything down in there - months of my life never recorded. I also wrote in my wedding journal. Over two months later and its still not done. I'm finally at the wedding day now. Thank goodness I remember everything or my journal would be very short.

Then after spending two whole hours writing I decided to read. And not read herablism stuff - I read the Fionavar Tapestries. I started the book over a month ago and haven't had any time to pick it up. It was nice to fall into the world of Fionavar - to lose myself in the story and not worry about what is going on here on Earth. I can't wait to have another night like last night!!

Tomorrow night we are picking up Regan from the ferries. I have Thursday off so I can hang out with her. It should be great times... just wish I could go to Pag's for dinner - but no creamy sauces or pasta for me :(
Aug. 31st, 2004 @ 09:11 am

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I realise that I am discovering this quite late, but I just found out that the man who took that woman hostage at Union Station was from Ajax, my home town. He ended up being shot. The police say that his death was "unavoidable". Before I started this job I would have believed that statement. Now I'm not so sure. Don't get me wrong, police officers have a very difficult and necessary job - I do appreciate their presence. I just wonder if there was a way to get this guy out alive.

That statement of course leads to this thought - does he deserve to live? Did we just do the world a favour by killing him? I mean, he did try to kill his wife right before he took that young girl hostage.

A few years ago I would never have put so much thought into this. Sometimes I miss my ignorant days.
Aug. 26th, 2004 @ 10:21 am

I just heard someone on the radio say "I can't help but think, is that it? Is summer over?" I totally agree with her. This is the third day of rain. Since only one person on my friends list lives in Victoria, please let me explain. It never rains in the summer and when I say never I mean NEVER. We usually have water restrictions and brown grass all over the entire city. There are fire banes while camping for the entire summer because the forest fire hazard is on extreme. For us to have three days of solid rain while it is still techinically summer is a miracle. So, we now have to wonder, is summer over?? I hope not...

Tonight is the Tea Party concert. Very excited. I am having the usual dilemma of what to wear?? I guess anything black will work :)
Aug. 26th, 2004 @ 09:22 am

It's very dark in the office. My lighting consists of a small desk lamp. I could put on the flourest lights but they give me BIG headaches. Terresa sounds like she is contemplating a trip to Walmart for lighting. I didn't realise how dark it got in this office when there is no sun. It's been raining for two days straight. I think summer might be over. I feel like I blinked and missed it. Too bad. Regan is coming to visit next week and my wonderful city is going to look dreary and drab. As long as the bubble tea still tastes good the trip won't be in vain.

I'm going to see the Tea Party tomorrow. I've never seen them in concert. I am excited yet anxious. I hope they are as good live as I've heard. It's always a disappointment to see a bad in concert only to discover that they can't really play their instruments.

I also get Japanese food tomorrow. It should be an interesting experience with all the food I can't eat, but I'm willing to try! I love Japanese food.

To the phone....
Aug. 25th, 2004 @ 09:07 am

So the rumours are true - the University of Victoria has a graduate program in counselling!! I don't meet all the requirements for entry - yet. I have to get my records from Lauier to find out exactly what psychology courses I took while I was there and then I have to add a few more to my resume.

Then I have to get some counselling experience - this is definately a long term goal. I will have to think about it for a while and decide if I will focus my energies on pursuing this goal.

The uncertainty with Paul's job (where he will be promoted to) makes it harder decision. The University of Victoria is one of the few schools that offers something like this and you cannot take it by correspondence. If I do all the work just to apply and then we have to relocate for Paul's job it will be a hard pill to swallow.

Why can't life be a little simpler? I'm not asking for an easy life - I like challenge, but not ALL the time! :)
Aug. 19th, 2004 @ 11:12 am

Currently sleepy. The lights in the office give me a headache so I have this little lamp for light. Which for my eyes seems to be sufficient, but the lack of light makes me tired. *Yawn*

I've gone one day on the "without diet". I miss bread most of all - that is what filled me up before. I am at a loss for lunches - does anyone have any ideas?? I think I might die if I continually have salad for lunch everyday.

The past week or so has been full of contemplation - about my life path. The never ending question, "what am I going to do with my life?" is back in full force. I am spending most of my waking hours trying to discover a fulfilling career for myself. What to do, what to do...
Aug. 17th, 2004 @ 10:16 am

I had a nice talk with my Oma today. We spent 45 minutues talking about natural remedies!! With my grandmother!! It was shocking at first but refreshing. I think she is one of the few people who really understand my decision to take a herbology course. Speaking of that - today is the wonderful world of Nervines and Antispasmodics. I'm having trouble absorbing all the information (there is a whole lot of it). I never realised how much I depend on class interaction for learning. I guess the next course I take will have to be in person.

I've contacted a few Reiki Masters in the area about doing my Level 1. Something else I've always wanted to do. One day I will reach my goal of being a "healer" :)
Aug. 14th, 2004 @ 10:43 am

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I went to visit a ND today. It was refreshing to visit a doctor who wanted to treat me as a whole person instead of just my headaches etc. We decided the best course of action right now to get my body on track is to look at my diet. This of course led to the dreaded food sensitivy test (using a Vega (sp?) machine). Pyschologically we are attracted to foods that we are sensitive to - so I knew that most of my favourite foods would be out of the questions. So for two weeks I have to avoid the following:

- Baker's yeast
- Brewer's yeast
- Buckwheat
- Cashew Nuts
- Celery (strange eh?)
- Chocolate
- Coffee
- Cracked Wheat
- Egg White
- Hops
- Lemon
- Milk Products (any and all)
- Millet
- Moulds
- Orange
- Pepper
- Tomatoes (another weird one)
- Tuna

I think I am most upset about the milk products and yeast. No bread, cheese or ice cream!!!

I have to do this for two weeks and then I can add one food in at a time and monitor how I react to it. I think I'll start it after this weekend!
Aug. 13th, 2004 @ 02:00 pm

I'm sleepy this morning. I didn't work out today - planning on doing it after work. Maybe that's why?

Question of the day:

Is it my job to make the lawyers look good because they are too damn lazy to return phone calls?? I talked to someone today who has left four messages with me (and who knows how many with T). I didn't know what to say to him. I'm sick of making up excuses to clients that are nothing but complete lies!!

ARGH!

Okay I feel better now... thanks.
Aug. 10th, 2004 @ 10:46 am

It's lovely out today. I got my "outside" moments when I walked to the grocery store for adult and bunny/piggies veggies - and some cereal. I'm stuck inside now (studying) but a beautiful breeze is making its way through my apartment. I can handle this.

I came home to two very hungry animals. Frodo was up on his hind legs looking rather cute (even though his begging was quite desperate). He refuses to come into the kitchen - the tile floor scares him (he can't hop correctly) so he balances delicately on the edge of the kitchen where it is still carpeted hopping around on his hind legs. I can't almost hear him "look how cute I am - you wouldn't want me to die of starvation now would you??"

Pippin just squeaks. It's a desperate squeak though - like someone is torturing him. He always sounds like he is on the brink of death and the only thing that can save him is sweet sweet parsley.

I'm currently studying Expectorants and Demulcents (tasty) and am looking forward to watching Rosemary's Baby. Apparently one of the best horror movies of all time - I'll let you know.

I am off to the wonderful world of phlegm.
Aug. 8th, 2004 @ 12:30 pm

» B-R-E-A-D

I am having bread maker woes. I can't seem to make a decent loaf. The first one the yeast was bad so it ended up being a very heavy pancake. The second one the crust was too dark for Paul so I reduced the amount of honey - now this one is not rising enough!! Maybe the bread Gods are punishing me for all those years I consumed nasty white bread in Ajax (thanks mom and dad!)
Aug. 7th, 2004 @ 03:16 pm

» It's a rainy day in Victoria...

I love rain in the summer. It smells better when you really need it. I can only imagine how the grass feels when the first drop of rain falls on it... like the hands of the Gods themselves just saved you from the brink of death. I love rain.

Have you ever seen Disney's cartoon version of Robin Hood? It's the one where are the characters are animals...

There is one part in the that movie that brings me pure joy. It's when Robin Hood says the word "hootenanny" The way he says it - it makes me happy.

I declare today's rainy day word hootenanny!!
Aug. 6th, 2004 @ 10:29 am